25 & up

I remember being 16 and thinking how I had everything planned out for my life.  I knew just want job I was going to have. I knew where my two-story house was going to be. I knew I was going to be married and probably have a child by the time I was 25!  I thought this planned out story line for a good little time in my life. Honestly, up until I was 24 did I realize, that things weren't going the way I planned since I was 16. In fact, nothing had gone the way I planned. I was working...but not in the job I originally thought. I definitely had no two story house, in fact I was paying rent not mortgage. Marriage and children were both so far from reality...that I realized the idea of plan was little more than a timeline of unrealistic expectations. 

I've heard that everybody goes through a time in life where you realize that God ultimately has a path for you..that is usually outside of the neat little package you have wrapped up for yourself. And ain't that the truth! 

Making it to 25 was NOT easy...and getting here hasn't been a summer picnic; but it has its advantages. While at 25 you do think about all the things you could have done differently...you get to a point where you see that all those things in the past are just that...things in the past that you cannot do one little thing about! Well you can, you can spend your present harping on everything that has already happened...or you can look ahead to all the marvelous things to come. At 25, I realize we all make mistakes, dumb moves, and foolish attempts at what we think is the best idea at the time. It's life. But as most of us know, self-forgiveness is the hardest of all. I can't even think about how many times I have beaten myself up about something I could have done differently, only to gain a headache after all that thinking and frustration. 

I am only human and know that reflection is a part of life, but we have to all try to keep that in perspective. 

The best part of 25 is however though the peace of mind and wisdom. I can't believe how much wiser I am; then again I'm human so at times I'm still a stark fool! Nonetheless, I do find myself full of much more wisdom and thought. I like to stand out, I love educated discussion, I like to be me. .all of which are things that at 16 I knew little about.

So even as I sit here without many of the things I thought I'd have at this age, I believe that I will still have these and many more blessings in my future. I can't put a time limit on them but I believe they will happen...but for now all I can do is sit on my couch, enjoy my company and hope that I will be blessed with 25 and 25 and 25 more years of life...with the people I love and nights on the couch like this one :) 

God is Peace, Life, and Love- 

NC State Budget Crisis

Lets talk about this a little....

I am definitely bothered by the recent budget cuts mandated by North Carolina's Governor Bev. Purdue. Let me explain it to anyone who hasn't kept up. If you work for the state of North Caolina you will get a 0.5% budget adjustment for the remainder of this fiscal year. Meaning if you are a 10 month employee (like teachers) it will be all adjusted (deducted) through one check in May. If you are an eleven or twelve month employee it will be adjusted over the course of two checks (May and June). I would be wrong if I didn't add that the Flexible Furlough is also a portion of this executive order as well. What is a Flexible Furlough? It is a order than says in replacement for the 0.5% pay deduction, 10 hours of flexible leave will be permitted from June 1 to December 31.

With the logistical portion out of the way...lets be real...this is a hot mess plain and simple. The average working class person like myself is being punished for the state's budget crisis. Do not get me wrong, I am all about working toward bettering our state. I am even liberal in the sense that I am all about helping those who are less fortunate. Unfortunately...my caring ways have seemed to bite me back this time. Let's see now, why is it that me a teacher is going to lose close to 235 dollars in one check just to help balance a budget? What about the people who make 100 thousand and more per year but work for private companies? They don't have to contribute to this mess? Or what about the general assembly and their expensive sessions that go over time and their expensive stiepends? And it's optional for legislators to have the adjustment? And the big officials who make more than I make in three years? Are they really going to feel the loss...something tells me she won't feel it like other people will... I guess even some teachers won't have to worry about it because they have various other sources of income...significant others, family, etc.. but what about the person who only depends on themselves?

Just when I am losing 235 dollars, I hear that the government is giving free cell phones to people who can't afford them....WHAT? WHY??? Who is going to pay that bill? I agree people need to be able to call 911 or help for emergencies, but why can't they afford a cell phone? Is working even an option for some people? I am not referring to people who SINCERELY CANNOT WORK like elderly, disabled, or abuse victims. I am however talking about the self-made victims who have made a living off doing nothind and letting the government take care of the rest. I do believe all Americans should have health care and access to food, medicine, essential needs and education. But...taking advantage of these necessities should come with the expectation of earning and eventually wanting to provide for yourself. Unfortunately for many people wanting to provide for yourself is not a likely mentality. I know there are little to no jobs now either+ Each day I see generational mentalities creating the same problems for a later date. Yet, I have to ask myself who will take care of it when the 235$ is missing and I can't pay a bill. And why am I...a average working citizen who pays taxes being punished for the weight of the won'ts and slack of poor government management.

Then I wonder...how did we get to this? Was our budget ruined from the beginning? I mean at some point in our history were we ever in good standing? Maybe I missed that moment in history...maybe I wasn't born yet? Maybe it was never a moment like that? Did Mike Easley ruin the budget that much? Did Former Governor Hunt make this mess a long time ago? Was it Former Governor James Martin? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE? If the answer is ALL the people of North Carolina, THEN WHY AREN'T ALL THE PEOPLE OF NORTH CAROLINA BEING REQUIRED TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES AND HELP BALANCE THE BUDGET?

All in all, I don't want anybody to lose a job or take a paycut... or start off with a paycut and then lose a job (is that next for us state employees?)...I am not a political analysis or politician. I am sure there are a lot of complexitites that go into this whole situation. All I know is that like other single adults and hard working people....every dime is accounted for in a month to month budget. Many of the state employees I know are already over worked, under-paid, and made to feel like ants in a colony. We do our assigned job with dilligence and dare not question the authority. I love my job and don't want to lose it...nor do I want to have to get a new one to afford the cost of living in North Carolina. I don't want anyone to lose a job, beause I know what living from check to check is like. You know you are one check away from enormous debt, eviction, and financial woe. I don't want any child to get sick because their parents don't have health care. I want to help others by voting for people I believe work toward the good of all people, and I don't even mind helping move money around in the budget to support areas in critical need. But I also like to help those who want to help themselves...and by default that means I want to be able to support and help myself. With the way things are going, am I still going to be able to support myself? I would like to believe that working hard still pays off in North Carolina and that everyone can be treated equally through governmental legislations and guidelines...unfortunately I guess all those type of bets are off during a recession?

Can You Be UnBroken? For the love of love-

Well dang if somethings don't happen in perfect timing. So I took it upong myself to have a movie night...I know someone who has seen every movie that exists just about. And for that person to recommend a movie, I thought it would be worth a try...

Getting to 25 a lot of stuff has occurred to add to a frame of thinking, that I admit has not always been probably adding to the good. I can't speak for all young black women because we all truly so different. My personal experiences might be similar to other young black women, but you know we are all different. So I watched 3 movies...Why Did I Get Married, Not Easily Broken, and The Family That Prays. Okay too much at one time I know... but it honestly touched me in a good way.

A. Love is not something that is easy. But yet and still we all have this concept of a fairy tale. Lol thank you Disney for that...but in reality its nothing like that, I mean most of the things that we want out of life take time and work, so why do so many people think love is any different.

B. There are a lot of ways we get hurt...well let me not speak for everybody, there are a lot of ways I have been hurt. Believing sweet nothings, thinking that actions mean things that they don't, listening to friends, letting your past dictate your every move, trying to avoid letting your guard now..all in the name of hoping that this time it will be different. I guess what I'm trying to say is hurt is a part of love. I guess you can't to the real thing without it....and shoot I guess love has a tad bit of hurt in it ( just a tad though)!

C. Running from the past. For me, my past with males and love has had little trust and presence. So me I tend to have a hard time trusting and believing that through it all, someone will remain there through a situation. Its crazy how the past can still creep its way into the present. Its not easy to decide you are going to keep your past in its place, and that is definitely a challenge!! But I think the best decision anyone can make is to let the past be.

D. Don't get me wrong, I know they are just movies...and I'ma take it for what it's worth. Some women want to be at the top of their career, some want to be the perfect house-wife, some the mom, some the independent diva, and I guess some all of the above. God blesses us all uniquely, and I do believe he does this in so many different ways. I believe he does answer the deepest hopes of our hearts whatever they may be, just not always in the ways we expect.

E-Z- lol expect to get hurt sometime. I guess it makes us all stronger in the long run, to get what you want...expect to do what you never did... let the guard down, show the imperfections, be real...in reality I think dreams are allowed to happen.....and if your dream is love, let it happen and it just might!

<3

So to the person who recommended this movie...who also hapens to have taught me a lot about all of the above- thanks

Hot, Luke Warm, or A HOT MESS!!!!?!?!?!

Maybe the first of more hot lists...-

1. College Hill
I am going to have to give this a Hot Mess
It's border line embarassing-
I get it that it's supposed to be similar to Real World...but it's just not getting it
2. Making the Band
It gets a Hot
Even with Q. and all his antics, I still dig the show.
I am proud of Diddy letting this group continue to grow...
Danity Kane...Why did he really let Aundrea go? I am not sure it's why he said...
3. The Hills
Luke Warm-Hot
The drama is pretty predictable at times....
Spencer- too hilarious!!!
I like the show...but I need for everyday people to not watch it and then try to
go out, buy / over spend just to keep up with the girls on the show.
4. The Game (The TV Show)
Hot
Set aside the fact that it attempts to address a lot of stereotypes, but doesn't really do so.
The drama/acting is average but appealing...
5. Baldwin Hills
Luke Warm
The episodes are too random and there is not enough of a sequence...
It's not horrible so I can't say it is a Hot Mess
Again BET the concept is there, but it doesn't give MTV's The Hills a competition...but then again maybe it wasn't created for that..
6. BET
Luke Warm
BET is attempting to pull it together with new shows and better programming,
Its come a long way...but still has a few miles to grow
106 & Park has been the most recurring...I guess Roxy and Terrance are growing on people after all.
7. MTV
Luke Warm-Hot
MTV doesn't really have music videos anymore, I guess you have to have advanced cable and watch MTV2 or MTV3 for that...
It's mostly reality TV...yet their shows maintain good drama and intense competition, and their loyal viewers don't seem to complain...
8. VH1
Hot-
Even though they have reclaimed their stake in tv through reality shows...they have done it well. The shows aren't too intellectually stimulating, but most of tv isn't anyway. Shows like Rock of Love, I love New York, Flavor of Love, I Love Money, Celebrity Rehab, I love Ray-J, and Tough Love have done a lot for their ratings... and even if you thought Flavor of Love was totally embarrasing for Blacks...you probably were guilty of watching it at least once...
9. CSI Miami/Las Vegas
HOT
Whether you catch re-runs on A&E,USA, or the new episodes on CBS...this show is Hot!!! I mean what other show do you know that all the people working the case look great? P.S.- Love you Horatio ;) and you too Delco ;)
10. Local Review K97.5 vs 102 Jamz
K97.5= Luke Warm
102Jamz= Hot
Too bad you can't get 102Jamz clear everywhere in Raleigh or else it would play continuously. K97.5 plays the same songs throughout the day... and very rarely is it what you want to hear. And its always funny when they try to throw in a random old song but then play it so much it's no longer a throw back....Now I will give it to them I can usually rely on the 5 o'clock free ride, Mix at 6, Battle of the Beats, and the Friday/Saturday night house party to be okay. Friday night you usually get a new song with a good beat that you never hear any other time.
102Jamz- Jams all day long! I am not sure but maybe since they aren't Nationally Syndicated, they have more freedom with what they say and do. Their wake up show is good too, I just can't hear it on the radio everywhere in Raleigh.
11. Crabtree vs Triangle Town Center
Crabtree - Hot
But the Belk there is WAAAAY overpriced compared to other Belks
Forever 21 has taken over...what did we all do before Forever 21?
Belks- Has cute stuff...but you have to plan on spending at least 40$ or more
Even though other malls have opened, Crabtree is still the first that comes to mind when you say mall.
Triangle Town Center
Luke Warm
Not a lot to choose from at this mall....other than Dillards which surprisingly has cute shoes...
12. The Club Scene
Hi 5, Bogarts, Red-Room- Hot
Though it depends on the night, you can usually get some entertainment
Solas-Luke Warm
Beautiful Atmosphere...still emerging
Black Ties- You Be The Judge
4030- You be the judge
Aurura- for the 18 and uppers, not my crowd so I can't rate...
The Office, Mosquito Lounge, Ess Lounge...
Luke-Warm to Hot-All depends on the night...but usually okay.
13. Party Goers- I won't rate because I don't want anyone to take it personal....All the party groups in the area that I know of throw good parties...Any one with comments can write their own comments -
Seven-
Couture 19-
A List-
Blue Goose-
ACT Productions-
Dynasty 5-
Show Stoppas-
14. Random-
Internet Explorer- Hot Mess
IE is POP-UP CITY and Home of all kinds of Spywares
Mozilla Firefox- Hot
Clears your temp files, filters your content, clears session data, and prevents a lot of pop-ups and spywares
Verizon- Hot
Good Service, Bad Pricing
AT&T- Hot
IPhones, Okay Pricing, Okay Service

I like Broccoli City T-Shirts, Go Green and Go Get One

Broccoli People

"It is what It is"

The unofficial motto of 2009....

It is what it is- This one simple phrased has come out of more people's mouth in the last month than jobs have been created in the past year (Not hard to imagine). I wasn't aware of its virtual motto status until lately when I heard Governor Bev Purdue use it in reference to the economic status of North Carolina. And just the other day in a meeting with a boss, he said "It is what it is people." So what does is all really mean, I guess its self explanatory right-

No need to over think and over analyze (though I do it all the time), when it boils down to it...when we make a decision its a done deal. You live with the consequences, the good the bad the ugly. You fall every so often, get back up and try again. Some things go the way you want, others do not. Sometimes life hits us with unexpected twists and turns...other times is smooth.

What you are looking for is usually right in front of you. I love it when I ask myself hard questions like how did I get in this situation. I suppose I am looking for some kind of concrete answer. Something tangible that provides a step by step account of which turns I took to arrive at my current place in life. Essentially that's what we all want right, a concrete answer or explanation. Something to make us feel like everything had a purpose. While I believe everything does have a purpose, I accept I cannot always know every purpose at the time I want to see it. Which brings me to this summary.......

With life, work, money, people, love, problems, ....the unofficial motto of 2009 hits the nail on the head-
"IT IS WHAT IT IS!"

.....but then again is it?